CTM Newsletter - September 2025
Sexual Addiction Recovery
I once counseled two pornography-addicted men over the same period of time. Tom* sought help after his wife passed away. Bereavement had shaken the sense back into him, leading him to a firm decision to change. He threw himself headlong into a full-blown recovery program, scheduling sessions with me or others nearly every evening of the week. His strategy was to redirect all the energy and time he’d been pouring into his addiction, into recovery. God worked powerfully, giving Tom a new life in Him.
Shortly after, Lester* came to see me with the same struggle—porn addiction. I enthused about how I’d seen another client make strides through a robust recovery program, explaining that addicts don’t generally stop their behaviors without replacing them with better behaviors. “’Something better’ is the watchword of education, the law of all true living,”[1] I explained, “Let’s work on a recovery program for you!”
Lester’s expression flattened. Over the next few minutes, I learned that I’d disappointed him. He’d hoped for a quicker fix than the one I was offering. He found the suggestion of a prolonged, concentrated effort off-putting.
Let me state clearly that I believe that only God’s Spirit can give us the power to change. To lean on our own will power is to fail. “It is God who works in you, both to will and to do of His good pleasure” (Phil. 2:13). Jesus said bluntly, “Without me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). The best recovery strategy, unempowered by divine strength, will clatter uselessly to the ground.
At the same time, some effort is required. Why doesn’t God just sprinkle us with holy water or wave His divine scepter and “fix” all that is wrong? For the simple reason that depending fully upon Him binds us to His heart in ways nothing else can. We value the things we fight for, and we bond to the ones we fight with. Recovery road is long and arduous, but the companionship is out of this world.
What follows is the sexual addiction recovery outline I share with clients. Adapt it to your own needs and be blessed.
Recovery Program Outline
The weekly schedule must be organized around recovery, with the components of the program displacing the addictive activity, pushing it out of the person’s life completely. The best sexual addiction recovery programs look like this:
Weekly counseling
Group meetings once to seven times per week
Filtering on all devices
Weekly session with an accountability partner or sponsor
Corporate worship and fellowship
Bibliotherapy (reading material)
Personal devotions
1. Counseling/coaching- Weekly sessions with a provider who understands addictions and has a good reputation for treating them is essential. Abide Network (Abide.Network) offers virtual mental health coaching from a biblical perspective. If one wishes for a face-to-face counselor, it may be helpful to search the Psychology Today (PsychologyToday.com), American Association of Christian Counselors (Connect.AACC.net) and New Life Live (NewLife.com/counselors/) websites for a local provider.
2. Group Meetings- Weekly, twice-weekly, or even more frequent group support is essential. There are several 12-step groups that address sexual addiction in a non-religious, yet biblically-based way. Celebrate Recovery comes from a more openly Christian perspective with a very well-run and comprehensive, and no-cost program based on the Beatitudes (CelebrateRecovery.com) Pure Desire (PureDesire.org) uses a step approach based on the Proverbs. Sexual Addicts Anonymous (SAA-recovery.org/meetings/) offers some teleconferencing options. Harvest USA (HarvestUSA.org) has discipleship ministries for men and women in sexual addiction. Small Groups Online (SmallGroupsOnline.org) offers a variety of group support options for a small fee. Group meetings are only as healthy and beneficial as the local group, so don’t be shocked if you encounter a bad one. Just keep looking and eventually you’ll find a fit. You can replace this whole section by pitching your own groups.
3. Filtering on All Devices- Filtering all devices must take place. Let’s face it, screens are dangerous for addicted people. Digital-age intimacy and relationship expert Robert Weiss recommends Net Nanny, Qustodio, Web Watcher, and Covenant Eyes. They all function differently, with options such as forwarding browsing history to an accountability partner. We must avoid as much temptation as possible, and then resist it when we can’t avoid it. Net filters are an important temptation-avoiding strategy.
4. Accountability Partner or Sponsor- Besides a personal counselor or coach, the addict in recovery benefits from an accountability partner who will oversee all the components of the program, and hold the addict accountable for compliance. We’re told, “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed” (James 5:16, NASB). We don’t confess to another as a mediator between ourselves and God, as only Jesus plays that role (1 Timothy 2:5). But sharing our struggle and failures with a trusted human being can provide a needed reality check, and can help wake us up to the seriousness of sin. Twelve-step programs use sponsors for accountability. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, but be specific about what you’re asking. Try: “Can you act as my accountability partner by chatting on the phone twice a week for ten minutes about how I’m doing with my recovery program?”
5. Corporate Worship and Fellowship- Church attendance or other spiritually-uplifting social engagement will provide a source of connection whereby basic love and social needs can be met. Most churches have at least some godly, functional, warm-hearted members with whom we can connect.
6. Bibliotherapy- Reading books on addiction recovery can make a huge difference by changing our headspace from one of addiction to one of recovery. Here are some books. Please understand we offer this list as a resource, but don’t necessarily recommend all aspects of each book.
Some reading ideas:
Addiction and Grace by Harold May
At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry by Steve Gallagher
Celebrate Recovery Participants Guides
Finally Free by Heath Lambert
Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction by Mark R. Laaser
Healing the Broken Brain by Elden Chalmers
Ministry of Healing by Ellen White
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes
Sexual Detox: A Guide for Guys Who Are Sick of Porn by Tim Challies
The Fight of Your Life: Manning Up to the Challenge of Sexual Integrity by Tim Clinton
The Game Plan: The Men’s 30-Day Strategy for Attaining Sexual Integrity by Joe Dallas
The Journey to Wholeness by Adventist Recovery Ministries
The Twelve Steps for Christians
Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer
7. Personal Devotions- Daily Bible study and prayer will assist in the process of mind and thought healing, bringing the imagination out of the gutter of ungodly lust into the invigorating air of purity and principle. It will warm the heart with the news of a God who loves us as we are, but also leads us on from there into a better life.
Can God restore our self-respect, relationships, self-control, moral conscience, health, sanity and spirituality? I’ll let Paul answer: “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen” (Ephesians 3:20-21).
Jennifer Jill Schwirzer, Ed D, LPC, is an author, speaker, media presence, professional counselor, musician, wife, mother, lover of Jesus, and a friend to many. “Dr. Jen” has a Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling from Capella University, and a Doctoral degree in Community Counseling from Liberty University. She has spoken all over the world, written 16 books, and hosted two TV programs. She loves to communicate about the fascinating intersection between theology and psychology, and does so whenever, and however, she gets a chance.
To our donor Friend
and Partner in Ministry
Over the years, your faithful support has been a lifeline—helping us bring the hope and healing of Jesus to countless men, women, and young people who have struggled with questions of identity and sexuality. Because of you, our ministry has been able to step into some of the most tender and vulnerable moments in people’s lives, offering truth wrapped in grace.
We have seen young women who endured deep heartache from abuse at the hands of their fathers, who carried the pain of abortion, and who compromised in relationships simply because they never received the affirmation they longed for at home. We have walked alongside boys who were trapped in cycles of pornography, violent video games, and aimless wandering—lacking direction and the guidance of a loving father.
We have watched children who helped us play with the rainbow colors—symbols that had been redefined by culture—encounter the deeper meaning of God’s promises. In those moments, their hearts opened, and their confusion about identity began to fade in the light of His love. We have seen tears turn into joy, and restless searching give way to a peace that only Christ can give.
Your generosity has helped us speak life where there was despair, to walk alongside the brokenhearted, and to remind every person we meet that they were created in the image of God, with dignity and purpose. Every conversation, every prayer, and every transformed life is a direct result of your partnership.
Thank you for believing in this mission. Thank you for standing with us in a world where truth is often clouded, and hope seems far away. Because of you, we can continue to reach hearts with the message that God’s design is good, His love is unshakable, and His promises are for all who will receive them.
With deepest gratitude,
P.S. Every gift—large or small—helps us reach another life with the hope and healing of Jesus. Your continued partnership ensures that no one has to walk alone in their struggle. Thank you for standing with us.
Founders Corner
It was in the Philippines, during a youth conference, that I witnessed God moving in ways both powerful and tender. The air was alive with music, heartfelt worship, and testimonies of freedom. All around me, young people were opening their hearts—sharing how God was meeting them in their struggles, breaking chains, and gently calling them into deeper truth.
After one especially moving session, I stepped aside for a quiet moment to breathe and reflect. That’s when she found me, a young girl, maybe seventeen or eighteen. She approached slowly, her eyes searching mine, and in an instant the composure she had been fighting to keep shattered. Tears spilled freely as she covered her mouth, almost as if she were afraid of the sound of her own pain.
When she could finally speak, her words came in broken whispers. She told me about the long-term relationship she had been in with another girl, how it had been deep, emotional, and a place where she had felt seen and understood. The girlfriend had been unfaithful, and they had broken up, but her heart ached with the weight of loss. But during the conference, she felt God speak to her directly; gently but firmly, showing her that this was not the relationship He desired for her. She missed her partner desperately. She felt torn between obedience to God and the longing to hold onto what felt safe and familiar.
As she poured out her heart, I remembered my own story. I told her about the time God called me out of a two-year relationship with my boyfriend, a bond that was more than romance; it was a friendship I treasured deeply. Walking away felt like losing a part of myself. I could still remember the emptiness and the nights I wondered if I had made a mistake.
But I also shared the other side of that journey, the part where God didn’t just take something away, but gave me something infinitely better! I told her how He became my closest friend, my greatest comfort. How His presence wrapped around me in the quiet moments when grief felt unbearable. How He filled the spaces of my heart I thought would remain empty forever.
“God had to give me something better than what I had with my boyfriend,” I told her softly, “or I would never have had the strength, or even the desire, to stay with Jesus. But in His grace, He did. He gave me Himself.”
Her sobs began to quiet, her breathing steadied. There was a flicker of hope in her eyes—just the faintest light, but real nonetheless. In that sacred moment, I could almost see it: the very first steps of healing, the beginning of a heart learning to believe that what God offers is never less than what we give up, it is always… always more.
