CTM Newsletter - February 2025
ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
The phrase “elephant in the room” refers to an important or significant or enormous topic, question, or controversial issue that is obvious or that everyone knows about, but no one mentions or wants to discuss, often because it makes at least some of them uncomfortable and is personally, socially, or politically embarrassing, controversial, inflammatory, or dangerous. It highlights how obvious issues can be ignored in social situations. Within many conservative Christian churches, this is the case regarding LGBTQ+.
TFT GOD’S DESIGN FOR
SEXUALITY ANNUAL
CONFERENCE
I am Founder/President of Training for Transformation® (TFT) where our mission is working with people who want to experience and express God’s design for sexuality.
We are currently planning an annual conference on God’s design for sexuality. And I was looking for two speakers who could speak with “compassion without compromise” about two topics: identity and relating with LGBTQ+.
A friend of mine, who is a Pastor, recommended I check out an afternoon conference on a related topic held at Waldorf SDA Church that was planned and conducted by Coming Together Ministries. So, I sat down one afternoon and watched a YouTube archived video of this meeting.
After watching, I reached out to Michael Carducci, Senior Speaker and Co-Founder of Coming Together Ministries, and asked if he would be one of the speakers. He agreed and is confirmed to join us at Embracing Love & Sexuality: His Plan - Our Joy! on October 26, 2025, in the DMV—our 2nd Annual God’s Design for Sexuality Conference.
JESUS AND
WHOLISTIC SEXUALITY
Shortly after confirming his participation at our upcoming conference, Michael contacted me and asked if I would be one of the speakers at their Jesus & Wholistic Sexuality (JAWS/CTL-4) 2024 Conference. I agreed.
And it was an honor for me to be one of the featured speakers and also one of the participants at JAWS/CTL-4. As I reflect on my experiences at the conference, three things rise to the top for me among lots of positives.
First, the diversity of speakers/presenters was phenomenal—age, gender, country of origin, ethnic background, and the content and lived experiences they shared. I met some great people, I learned much, and I left encouraged and inspired!
Second, as one who loves music and has spent a good part of my life singing with choral groups, I very much appreciated how music was integrated throughout the conference. Simply wonderful!
And, finally, managing the logistics was, as the saying goes, “off the charts!” I am especially grateful to Jerry Armijo for arranging my travel and lodging, to Daniel & Kirsten Varela for providing ground transportation for me throughout my stay, and to Village SDA Church staff for their gracious hospitality.
I look forward to this year’s conference, and I’ve already alerted the Emotional Wellness Ministry Team of which I am part at a local church in the DMV of the dates.
LGBTQ+:
IS CHANGE POSSIBLE?
I could take an hour or more of your time discussing with you the answers to these questions. But time and space does not permit so here. Let me share just three brief answers.
First, there is NO credible, scientific evidence to support that there is a gene leading to inheriting same-sex attraction or same-sex behavior.
Second, there are living testimonies of persons who formerly were involved in LGBTQ+ sexual activities, behavior, or lifestyle who testify that they changed. For example, Christopher Yuan, Jackie Hill Perry, and Laura Perry. And as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and previously a sex addict, I too give witness that healing, deliverance, and transformation IS possible.
Finally, here’s the bottom line. We are ALL sinners (Romans 3:23), and we are ALL tempted to sin—temptations both from outside (Ephesians 6:11-12) and from inside self (James 1:13-14). The way forward for ALL is to surrender one’s entire life—including one’s sexuality—to Jesus Christ as Savior AND Lord (Romans 6:22-23), and to live by the power of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:16-24). We ALL need the love, grace and mercy, forgiveness, and gift of salvation through Jesus Christ.
“The LORD is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. The LORD is good to everyone. He showers compassion on all his creation.” (Psalm 145:8–9, NLT)
“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” (2 Corinthians 5:17, NLT)
“This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews 4:15–16, NLT)
May the Lord God be with you as you continue your journey through life.
James H. Dotson, Jr.
Ph.D., BCC, CC
Founder/President,
Training for Transformation, Inc.
QUESTION AND ANSWER
Question:
Hello Daniel. I recently heard your testimony. What practical advice do you have for parents regarding the management of their children’s access to technology and potential exposure to harmful content on social media?
Answer:
This question hits home for me as I had easy access to the internet. As a pre-teen, I was given an iPhone in middle school. My parents were not aware of the risks of social media and didn’t know how to regulate my phone usage. This led me to exploring LGBTQ affirming connections through social media, worsening my addiction to pornography, and engaging in other risky behaviors such as sexting adult men.
There is a feature on most smartphones called parental controls. I highly recommend that parents or guardians consider using this tool. Children and teenagers may not have the self-control to limit themselves as they are still developing impulse control in the brain.
As the parent or guardian, you can help determine how often your child or teenager can use social media or unsupervised internet use. I wouldn’t encourage helicopter parenting, but to keep your child safe, it would be wise to look into using parental control settings or using other helpful apps that support parents who want to keep their children safe from overexposure or unsafe interactions.
If your child has a smart phone, you can restrict certain sites, remove complete access to the internet, or restrict downloading or removing apps. You have the right to ensure your child’s safety so they can be the most healthy child or youth. If you need to consider giving your child a flip phone: that could also be an alternative to a smart phone.
I pray that God would give you wisdom as you consider your decision.
Blessings,
Daniel Varela
Director for the Associate
Pathway Program
Send your questions to:
info@ComingTogetherMinistries.org
